The Paper and The Tree
Egoic Mind: Lots of bad flairs. I feel like I have to begin an enquiry with some version of the evening news…
In local body news today … there was a flash flair in the inland valley. An advisory alert has been put in place until later tonight. Stay tuned for more details.
Conditioned behavior I suppose. Behind that is an image that all of these “thoughts” are just floating around us, all of the time. And occasionally for some reason unknown in the visual story of my mind, some of the thoughts just “stick” and become manifest in the mind. It’s like a piece of paper floating in the wind that gets caught in the branches of a tree. No reason, it just got stuck there as it was circling around in the air current. And the tree then takes “ownership” of the paper as if it was its paper, not realizing the impersonal nature of the paper or the wind that carried the paper into the tree.
GNANI: Yes, there is no ownership of thoughts. They just happen. You can say it is like objects moving freely in the wind if you like. Or perhaps what only appears to be random chaos in the debris is actually a plotted course of movements and stickiness that is moving precisely as it was intended by Source.
Egoic Mind: Either way, the TREE as an independent object had no control over the paper sticking to its leaves. And these “thoughts” are not really “my own” in the same sense. Though I understand that Source may not be as haphazard as I made it sound. But yet, the egoic mind wants to still “use” this information. How can I USE the idea that thoughts are not mine, to eliminate my own suffering, so much of which is encased in the ownership of thoughts?
Darn. My body is beginning to tense and contract again. Stiffness, pain and burning sensations. I know, I am back to the local news reporting. But really I don’t see any way to transcend the drama of this body/mind container.
GNANI: Looking to transcend the body would be as pointless as the tree trying to discover how to change the currents in the air as to attract or repel more papers to or from its branches. No matter how enlightened the tree becomes, it will not achieve authorship of the paper trail.
Egoic Mind: There is a deep chill running through my arms and goose bumps on the surface of my skin. The laptop on my legs feels hot and comforting contrasted against the cold front moving through my body. It feels like I can see the place I want to be on the other side of the shore. A place where thoughts do not stick, but rather pass through like clouds leaving no residue behind. But while I can see this place there appears to be no bridge or ferry to take me across the river to the other shore. So here I sit on the banks of mind-mud seeing that life on the other side of the bay is without the noise and static of the ego, and yet there seems no ability for me to sail across to the other side.
GNANI: What is it that is looking across the watery abyss? And which side of the ocean does that which apperceives dwell?
Egoic Mind: For the most part it is the egoic mind cloaked in illusion of separation that is looking.
GNANI: Even so, what IS this illusory egoic mind at its essence?
Egoic Mind: At its molecular essence it is the same as the mud, the water and the air. It claims the paper-thoughts as its own. When really muddy water cannot author a thought.
GNANI: So then that which is looking must not be the muddy water.
Egoic Mind: Yes. That would be impossible. But it still feels like duality from where I sit. This feels good. That feels bad. I am suffering over there …. in Nirvana … thoughts do not stick and if I was over there I would have peace.
GNANI: And the I in reference is what?
Egoic Mind: The embodiment of spirit that animates this body. As long as there is perceived duality — God and self — then there are two pieces and no peace.
GNANI: The paper that sticks to the branches of the tree after being flown by the wind. What was the paper before it took on its present form?
Egoic Mind: It was TREE!
GNANI: Precisely. Yet the tree as an illusory separate self cannot recognize the “tree-nature” of the paper in the current manifestation.
Egoic Mind: If it is true that as it is above so is it below … then thoughts which are perceived falsely as having come from this mind are actually identical (of the same formless substance) as the mind? As paper is to tree, so are thoughts to mind? Without authorship or ownership. The tree did not make the paper, nor did the paper adhere itself to the tree. But the tree and the paper, whether attached or detached are still the same essence.
GNANI: Keep going. You don’t have it yet.
Egoic Mind: The thoughts that float around like debris in the wind, are one in the same as the mind that they stick to. The mind did not create the thoughts, nor did the thoughts have any momentum to aggregate towards the mind. Not two. But one. Thoughts and mind. Paper and tree. All paper is tree. But trees are not all paper. Something is missing.
GNANI: Paper is but one manifestation of tree, there are others but that does not make them any more separate than the paper from the tree. Regardless of their appearance.
Egoic Mind: Ok, fabric can be tree, string, tables, maple syrup, all of these things are tree in one form or another. They come from tree without any volition on behalf of the tree. I am getting confused now.
GNANI: Is that so? Or is a confused thought getting caught in your branches?
Egoic Mind: Yes! There was a sticky quality to the confused thought and I immediately took ownership of it! I notice the chill in my arms has also vanished and my body has rebalanced somewhat again. Ok, so there are thoughts (papers) and there are body sensations like chills (maple syrup) and emotions (wooden tables) and more I suspect … but yet their nature is all Source (Tree).
GNANI: Now from where you sit on the bank of the river …
Egoic Mind: From where I sit in the mind’s eye there appears to be a mirage on the horizon across the surface of the water. This land of milk and maple syrup only appears to be far away and separate from the place I seem to have my roots. But really it is all One and the same. Nowhere to go. No place to get.
