Chide and Prejudice
When you reach a certain place of knowing your true nature, there can sometimes be less tolerance of any moment when you see yourself living small. Before we see a glimpse of our Oneness it is easy for us to hold a grudge or prejudice against someone we love or even a total stranger.
Yesterday when I was wheeling in the park, I saw a small child, no more than two years of age, romping about in the winter sun. The young person attending to the child could not have been more than 18 years old himself, but I was impressed by how mature he seemed and by his patience and genuine interest in his ward.
As my wheelchair grew closer, I could over hear their conversation and just as the little girl smiled and said “Daddy, watch me jump!”, my heart sank and my mind filled with story. That BOY is too young to have a child! How does he expect to raise her?! How irresponsible of him! What kind of life is that poor child going to have?
Before I could write more chapters in my novel of judgment and damnation, a sparkle in the tot’s eye caught a glimpse of Dalai who was sitting in my lap. The toddler came rushing over to us with her father a footstep behind her shadow. “Make sure you ask if you can pet the dog!”, he called. “And let the dog smell you first.”
I was so impressed by how polite and mindful this young mind seemed to be. The little girl pet Taco very gently as you would if you were touching fine silk. Dalai stayed still in my lap as the tiny one stood on tippy toe to reach Dal’s head. I held Dalai’s leash tight in my hand to assure my over-vigilant critter there was no reason to be concerned.
The young father asked the normal questions about our hairless wonder dogs. But instead of greeting his wide eyes with a smile, I found myself giving terse answers and with a sudden roll of my wheels I was off again on my stroll.
As we rounded the corner and were out of earshot if not the eye, I said to my husband, “I was really impressed by how he was caring after the little girl, but I just couldn’t seem to get past my judgment that he was too young to be a father. That in some way he shouldn’t have had a child.”
I knew in my heart, I had missed an opportunity to praise this young man for how well mannered his daughter seemed to be. About what a good Dad he was to be playing with her at the park on such a wonderful sunny afternoon. No, instead my mental story of judgment kept my voice at bay and it was I that lost the opportunity to soothe my own inner child who very much wanted to run and skip and play in the sun.
