She’s Faking It

My hairless blonde pup has been limping on her front leg this week. Its not all that unusual as she has a bit of a deformed toe on that paw and she tends to be a bit sensitive on that side, a little bit more so this week as she’s been hopping/hobbling around on three legs much of the time.  Occasionally someone will note that if there’s food around she “forgets” and puts weight on that leg, leading to the familiar “She’s not hurt, look she’s perfectly fine.  She’s faking it.  She just wants attention.”   In fact my daughter’s adorable puppy has a slipped patella that goes in and out of place on a whim.  So sometimes she will jump up on your lap without a second thought, but other times she will sit and whine to be picked up.  Granted statistically speaking she tends to do her whine and dance a bit more when my daughter is watching than if I was the only one in the room … perhaps because she knows Hammha (my given Grandparent to a puppy name) won’t get off her butt to pick her up.  So again, the anthropomorphic “She’s faking it” amps up.

Its interesting to listen to folks inner noise about an animal’s mental motives.  “She’s manipulating you.”  “She being spiteful.”  “He’s trying to teach you a lesson.”  We imbue so many meanings when an animal doesn’t behave as we would hope.  Perhaps she pees on your blanket, maybe he chews up your favorite shoe, heck she probably farted just to piss you off, eh?

Sometimes we project feelings of inadequacy or other weak-n-the-knees emoojees …  “Oh look, she’s embarrassed because she ran into the screen door.”  Well no, she’s probably just a bit dazed because she took that bump on the noggin at 65 mph thinking the door was open.  I don’t believe shame exists in the animal kingdom with nearly as much frequency as we might believe.  But yet we are conditioned to see things outside of our self as having similar qualities and characteristics that are familiar.

This similarity syndrome is what fuels consumer marketing campaigns …. Try this new weight-loss microbe, it worked for me — so it will work for you.  I was watching Celebrity Apprentice the other night and was appalled when a woman called another woman out for having menstrual cramps.  Some version of “take a pill” and get over it.  Because again, we believe that we are each similar in how we feel, deal and surreal our way through the day.

I often wonder what it is that prevents us from believing someone’s personal pain.  Do I have to have a fever in order to be “sick”?  Do I need to somehow look sick in order for you to understand I have an illness?  Do I need to not laugh too loud or enjoy a game on the computer?  There is a perception of course that if you are “sick” you have to play the part. You shouldn’t wear make-up, do your hair up or be upbeat buttercup.  Because how can you be happy if you are suffering?  Of course its a double edge sword, because if you do slip into a negative mood then you are also probably not sick you are just depressed.  Ultimately you can’t win for loosing.

But when you see this .. when you really grasp that there simply isn’t any pleasing or proving yourself to anyone else …. there is a weight that lifts of your back-log of guilt that you didn’t even know you were carrying.  You don’t have to beat yourself up for not measuring up to anyone else’s expectation.  And that goes a long way, however in order to truly be free of the dogma we need to also stop being critical of our self.  We have to mute the “lazy” button that echoes from our mother’s chastising of a teenager who won’t keep her room tidy.  We need to stop telling our self that we somehow don’t measure up, fit in, or function in a way that makes us a valuable member of society.

If you believe the adds for Charles Schwab, OxiClean, or CIALIS, clearly the answer to our feelings of inadequacy lie in making more money, cleaning our house better or doing it like a porn star.  And if you are over 50 you had better dress and act your age.  You want to call yourself a feminist?  a vegetarian?  a liberal? a fiscal conservative? Do you want to park in the blue handicap spot at the store?   Well then you better look the part, else someone will likely say you are faking it, in which case you should turn the other cheek and fart as you limp away.