Answering The Call
As I sat in mindful meditation this morning, there was a sharp pain and surge of heat sweep over my body. Not unusual, yet somehow perceived from a slightly different vantage point. It was as if the ailment was a knock at the door of Presence, reminding me to come back to the moment at hand. Too often, I realized, I do not heed this galactic doorbell, but rather spend my energy trying to make the pain go away.
It was a hard morning on my body and when the actual door bell rang, both dogs leapt off of the window seat, where I was doing my zazen. I could feel my heart jump into my throat in a moment of startle. Slowly I made my way down the bare wooden stairs. The dogs were jumping at the windows that flanked our entryway, as I peaked briefly through the tiny glass pane at the top of the door. As I balanced on my toes, I could see the tell tale Bible toting little old ladies poised to share their pamphlets with my lost soul.
I opened the door just a few inches and held Miss Dalai at bay with my ankle. “No thank you.” I said preemptively. “May we leave you our literature?” a soft voice replied. “I am a Buddhist.” I answered, to my own surprise, which was met with an equal look of being taken aback by the little white haired lady. As the tiny congregation walked away, I chuckled at my Buddhist retort. In the past I have enjoyed throwing solicitors off center by saying I was a Jew, an Atheist, or even a Pagan. Though the latter seemed to cause a spur of fear in the eyes of the fragile converted and images of burning stakes on my front lawn made me reconsider my rejoinder.
There is a tendency on my part to become incensed with door-to-door disciples. Something I learned at an early age when I brought Jehovah Witness pamphlets home from school and my mother tore them to shreds and scolded me never to speak with those people again. Even now as I’d like to believe that I have a wider view and acceptance of the necessity of diversity of our ecosystem, I probably still instill this same sentiment onto my children. As the schools would celebrate the holidays, I would always ask my children if there was any mention of non-Christian holy days in their classroom and then begin my rant on the pitfalls of the church cartel.
But today, instead of living in my head about the biblical-beseecher’s early morning Avon call … I was able to see simply that they were acting in accordance with their conditioning as part of their unique cellular memories and imprinting. They could, in fact, act in no other way. And that was perfect. My response was also then spot on, as it was a result of my own conditioned past and bio-chemical markers. Instead of good or bad, right or wrong … there was in this moment the union of polar opposites as one movement in the Totality. That gift of Presence and opening the door to this moment of unity, reminded me of the importance to welcome each instant with whatever it brings as an opportunity to come into the Now and see how things really are when we are not inside the mental story.
