Raging in the New Year

The holidays and end of year traditions seem to be a time when people try hard to reflect on the warm and fuzzy moments.  Google news abounds with The Best of 2013, our snap chats are filled with silly moments of our food, family and friends.  And even though the data suggests this is the lowest emotional time of year for us as a whole, we are urged to forget (or get over) our woes and wing it, worship or wanton our way to a more positive outlook.

We make resolutions to shed pounds, be more charitable,  save more money or save the planet.  And yet our inner voice can be screaming me, me, Me, ME, ME!  Or Fuck You!  As the case may be.  Resolving our Anger at years end may be an even more powerful process than the empty Pollyanna promises we are conditioned by tradition to create.

There are several road blocks when it comes to identifying the seeds of our rage.  Perhaps our spiritual practice prefers we turn the other cheek,  we may have been told that no good can come out of our dark side or we believe that Pandora’s box is a metaphor for tempting our temper.  Sometimes we simply feel guilty about our anger or are otherwise unjustified in our disgust.  How can we be pissed off at the disabled woman who took the last parking place let alone our loved one who was diagnosed with a terminal illness?  But the fact is we ARE angry even though we deny the full throttle of our feelings.

So we make believe we are handling “it” as we push down our cholar and our blood pressure soars.  We try to rationalize away our inner indignation and justify the injustice so that we can move on past the pain.

Even as our jaw aches from clenched teeth, our shoulders seize from the pressure we are under … we continue to discount our discontent for fear that once unleashed we may never be able to contain it again.  But being authentic in our anger need not result in a social media wrecking ball.  We can take a very private moment to explore and expunge our umbrage.

If you feel comfortable you can jot down your slow burn or even just the first letter in your scarlet bucket list.  And then, take a moment to write the unwritten words on how the story could have, should have, would have gone if circumstances or statutes of limitations were different.  Imagine the satisfaction of instant karmic justice and feel the smile on your face when you find the key that satisfies the dark comedy in its fruition.

Its not about changing the past,  forgiving anyone in the present or placating the future.  Its simply taking the time to honor your anger.   To take it out of the box with as much enthusiasm as you would open a gift on Christmas morning.  And then playing with the pique and not being afraid to get your hands dirty in the soiled moments of your life that if the world was a fair place would never have been.

After you finish your list and feel you have explored the depth of your distemper you may want to light the paper a blaze on the yule log in your hearth or flush it away in some other symbolic gesture that seems fitting under the circumstances.  Because you don’t need to carry the anger around with you once you have really opened up to it.   You wont have to nail it down under the floor boards where you tried to bury the bones of the tell tale heart. When we no longer resist even our unspeakable feelings they loosen the knot that they placed on our potential for peace.  And THEN we can consider what it means to us to be Happy in the New Year.  Blessed Be … Bastards and All!