EZ



This week, perhaps month (could be year or more) … I’ve noticed the desire for things to be EASIER.  At times there is peace about the limits that this illness places upon my body and circumstances.  But then there are waves when the unworkability of my situation simply can bring me to tears.  Despite my “knowing better” there is a desire for gentler days.  And isn’t that what we all want?  If not EASY than at least manageable.  We want to know that we will make it through the dark times and live to see the light.

Of course its not so dramatic or obvious during our day to day discourse.  But the subtle yearning and longings continue to show up.  A new recipe that touts it is even easier followed by the new diet that you won’t even know you are dieting.  The new pocket-do-dad with 3 EZ payments that you saw on late night TV.  The miracle potion that will eliminate your symptoms after just one use.  And its not that we mind the notion of working for it … as long as we know in the end that our well meaning wishes will be met.

“Whoever said that Life would be Easy?”

There are 138,694 “Whoever Said It Would Be Easy” quotes that would suggest that the desire is intrenched in our collective brain.  And yet no matter how many times we are told — “Good luck with that” — or how many times we witness the cause of our own suffering at the hands of the EasyBakeOven, we seem to only push this covert agenda slightly below the level of awareness.  We walk the walk for a while at least and may even mutter a few “Bring-It-On” taunts to the Universe in our moments of bravery.

But still, when the dog breaks her nail at the quick and you need to pay yet another vet bill during the holiday season, or the doctors tell you that you need more tests but will have to wait until the new year to get any answers, or your laptop shuts off everytime you launch the new game you bought just before it went half price on a post cybermonday sale, or the boy you have hoped would talk to you finally DOES only to ask for your girlfriends phone number … that small little voice that lives deep inside your being whispers quietly … “I want things to be easier.”

And in this moment, as opposite of easy as it may seem to be, we can awaken the loving kindness that abides in our heart and whisper back softly “I understand” and “I love you” or as my redneck would say with a cheeky grin, as he hunches up his shoulders extends his arms out to the side and with a over sized gesture drops them down and as he says “How does it FEEL to WANT?”  Its a reference to an overused and over dramatized expression from one of the owners on Pawn Stars.  And its always perfect timing.

We can acknowledge even our I-Know-Better wants with loving compassion, either in the moment or in a delightful post hoc epiphany.  It doesn’t make us less Zen, or less mature or less able to actually COPE with whatever it is that meets us in the morning. It is simply one of the 138694 ways that we are reminded of our human nature.

Easy … EZ … we even agreed upon an abbreviation because spelling out all four letters was too cumbersome.  And at times things DO seem too hard and rather than cloaking our self in denial we can honor our often unspoken desire and smile back when someone tells us their own story of arduous plot twists and rather than try and convince them that everything will work out okay .. we can say simply “I wish things were easier for you.”  Because sometimes, that’s really all that we need to hear.

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