I’d like to buy a vowel …
f I was prone to paranoia, which I’m not because I lead a dull and boring life, I’d be concerned about how quick Google is to “suggest” what I want to search for as I begin to type. For instance, I only need type a “g” and google wants to know if I’d like information about the government shutdown. Which I guess is better than suggesting some other words that start with the letter G in the first spot.
nd its not only google that tracks my every keystroke, the speed at which my web-bait ads begin to suggest items that are on sale truly boggles the mind. Which is why of course I would be concerned that I keep getting popups that say “Is he cheating on you?” if I was disposed to paranioa, which I’m not because there are some aspects of my life that are in fact NOT dull and boring.
ven my android phone would like to suggest the NEXT word I am about to type before I enter a single letter. Once I let it type out an entire paragraph all on its own.
“I am not sure if you have any questions. Thanks for the next few days. I need to think about it. Just let me know if you want to tell me your fears. I feel your pain and suffering from the monkey mind.”
learly its some sort of algorithm that stores bits and pieces of nouns and verbs that have been used in text messages, note pads, chats and emails. Of course it may be alien transmissions that have taken control of our communication networks in order to brain wash us into technology slaves so they can take over our planet when the microsoftship lands. I’m not 100% sure which option I believe is true, but the HAL type artificial intelligence of the first scenario seems a bit paranoid to me, so I’m leaning towards the alien nation.
y youngest overheard me talking on the phone, retelling a story about a post I saw on Facebook (or maybe it was a text to my other daughter, I don’t know but it was written down SOMEWHERE so it must have been true) and she chastised me … “GOSSIP! GOSSIP!!” she said in a stern tone. And its true, the definition of gossip is to talk idly, especially about other people’s business. Which is of course what our twitter nation is built upon. And for those who can’t read there is instagram.
o it should be no surprise that facebook is removing our ability to hide ourself from global searching. Because where would the fun be if we could duck and cover up our identity. Its like we are in a long term relationship where the internet can finish our next thought, living in a small town where everybody knows our name. But who’s name is it? And who are we? I frequently get notifications from LinkedIn that someone in my circle of seven degrees of separation has recommended me for a new skill. Which is awesome since I haven’t worked in over five years and I pretty much just sit around all day. I am no doubt an expert on life with a chronic illness, but yet my LinkedIdentity thinks I am amazing at Strategic Planning, Community Outreach (my kids are laughing loudly), Social Networking, Higher Education, Teaching, Networking and Fundraising. Dang! I can’t even remember which bills are on auto-pay and which ones I have to pray to pay each month, I seriously doubt I’d make a good fundraiser.
ut what do I know? I have as many faces as I do facades if you believe what people write on Facebook or who endorse my mad skillz. There’s a whole lot of DNA going down and data being warehoused in the dungeon of cyberspace. So if you have OCD (obsessive conspiracy disorder) there will never be a dull moment, just type a letter into Google’s search engine and see where it takes you. Or type a letter in the Google bar of your lover’s laptop and see what he’s been searching for lately … you never know, maybe he HAS been cheating on you after all 99 web-baits can’t be wrong.
