The Consequences of Constent Critisism
During my first divorce, there was a boilerplate line in our legal documents which said some version of:
Both parents shall refrain from criticizing the other parent or arguing with the other parent in the presence of the children.
Seems like common sense, because the child has to maintain a relationship with both parents long after the gavel hits the block. I know the repercussions of this first hand, as my own parents were divorced when I was 11 years old and I was pretty sure based only on listening to my mother, that my father’s legal name was Sonnoffabish. There was no room in my adolescent brain to allow for my mother to have a bias. So, there wasn’t much space to cultivate a relationship with my Dad … until I went off to college. Well actually, until my mother jumped ship to Jamaica and left me financially stranded at a private college and I was forced to call up my Dad and ask him to pay for my education. Which he did, without hesitation.
There were aspects of my father, that I never would have understood, if I believed everything Mom had to say. Because when we align ourselves with one parent, we can’t help but believe that they have the corner stone on truth.
But the truth is, my Dad is a great man. Yes, he has a different political persuasion and values based on his up bringing and heritage than I do. But there is so much more to him as an intelligent, dedicated and hard working man that I am so very grateful and blessed to be his daughter.
By the same token, when we look at the political campaigns its easy to see how we destroyed the possibility of living happily as a bipartisan nation in the aftermath of the election. Everyone realizes the lunacy of “negative ads”, “smear campaigns” and other bold face lies that seem to pass for politics as usual, but few of us feel there is anything we can do about it. I disagree, though readily admit that I don’t have the answer. But I do believe in my heart that there must be a better way. I refuse to accept that this is the best that America can do when it comes to electing our government officials. The price to pay for a divided nation is simply too high and we can not survive as a nation — and you had better believe we will not survive and be competitive members of a world economy without the strength and commitment of all the states united.
As I said, I don’t have the answers, but the sound of the gavel is fading and we are left with a split house. If we are going to find a way to rebuild our nation it will take each of us actively seeking ways to make this work … not just for our self, but for the Sonnoffabishs that we’ve been told about who live next door.
