12 Gripes of Christmas
- It’s not free shipping if there is a $4.95 handling charge!
- Our lowest price ever — doesn’t ring true when the slick deal forums can point to your ad last July and you had the SAME PRODUCT for sale for a nickle more.
- A personalize $1.00 Christmas Ornament with free shipping from Hong Kong that doesn’t arrive until January 15th may not be what you had hoped for, especially if your bone dried dead christmas tree that you had up since thanksgiving went up in flames and you decide to forgo old glory entirely next season.
- Batteries not included is not the same as a missing HDMI cable, a misplaced USB connector, or the other high-tech-gadget that renders my geek-gift useless unless I go to Frys.
- You can’t change my delivering date on 8:00 p.m. the day it was promised to arrive until 8 days later.
- You can’t be out of stock if it is in my shopping cart. I put it there damn it, now I want my Fushigi Magic Gravity Ball!!
- If it said XL and it doesn’t fit on my skinny-bilink-teen YOU have to pay for the therapy.
- Underwater means it works in my Jacuzzi regardless of the temperature or bromine level.
- Some assembly required doesn’t require a master’s degree in CAD.
- If you don’t release it in anything else other than BluRay … I’m getting out my VHS tapes from the attic and watching The Great Muppet Caper.
- My washing machine can not break down now, because it was not on my wish list!
When the packaging fills up my trash bin and two recycles containers and most of my gifts are being considered for re-gifting I have to wonder why I ever stopped giving people socks.
