Remembering Mom on her Birthday ….

I am certain if I close my eyes and sit on my zafu I could come up with some wonderful Zen stories about my mother and how missing her leads me one step closer in the not-knowing space and emptiness that is my true nature.  I might even think to share a humorous story about how my mother’s Halloween birthday was fodder for so many non-practical jokes and perhaps even a bittersweet coupling for her throughout her lifetime.

If I got very clear I would touch upon the pain still in my heart, or perhaps my brain, that occasionally swells and pours out into puddles of tears at not knowing where she is, how she is fairing or why it is that she turned her back and went away in 2008.  If I was in a crafty mood I might mock up a milk carton … Have you seen this mother?

In an analytic moment I could pontificate at great length about how the metaphore of missing our mother is a symbol of something else quite entirely.  Though I might just as soon begin to dabble in what it is to grow up with a schizophrenic mother and how “Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops!”

If I were on my food blog I might detail a healthy birthday cake recipe that I plan to make in her honor today.  Not that she liked healthy birthday cakes … but afterall she won’t be here to blow out the candles in any event.

So leaving the stories of why she left behind — which are truly stories because in truth I have no idea — and instead focusing my attention on the family that is before my eyes today.  I’ll give them all a little extra hug tonight and hope that some how that loving energy finds its way to Mom where ever she is.

Happy Birthday Mom