Karma Bytes | A Collection of Mental Noise and Satori Moments On The Way to Awakening

I Chit You Not

Posted on April 25, 2013 by CoolKarma

Its odd to be excited about excrement. But truth is we’ve been tracking poo for more than a dozen days and today my old hairless dog finally had a solid stool. I consider it nothing short of a miracle, if not also the perfect opportunity for a shaggy dog story. You see, she must be approaching 15 years and she walks with stiff bones, her hearing is selective at best and I while I know her days are numbered I am always amazed by just how “well” she manages in her senior swan song. Take for instance this last dance with her demise, she picked up some kind of intestinal bug more than a week ago and to call it demon diarrhea would be an accurate description of the smell of death that came from her body. One night, she failed to wake my boy friend or I and she had an accident on the bedroom floor. Poor pup. The smell woke us immediately and we cleaned up the mess in no time, but it took us two hours+ to get rid of the order before we could go back to sleep. Mind you we have laminate flooring, there was no residual toxic waste in the room .. but that odor … the gasses of whatever parasite was eating her insides was unimaginable.

I know it doesn’t seem very Zen to talk about feces in graphic or even poetic prose. But after all, it IS the lotus flower that emerges from the mud, so it should not be so surprising that Truth can come to us even when we are knee deep in the muck of Life.

We really became worried when the younger pup, Dalai Lama picked up the crud and joined in the parade of poo that would be the bane of our existence for more than a sleepless week. We learned to catnap with one ear open, so we would hear the girls if they needed to be let out. They would prod us with a cold nose on our chin, or a thump on our head with the full force of the side of their face. WAKE UP!! I HAVE TO GO … NOW!!!! They would nudge. And we would get to our feet quickly and make our way downstairs in the dark to let them out the backdoor.

Of course, there are details about calls to our vet, the impossibility of obtaining stool samples from blades of grass covered in watery goo and even one day when all that left my poor pups body was blood. But of course the point isn’t to DWELL in the filfth when we are facing a dark moment. And my intent indeed is not to turn your stomach only to feel our pain. But rather to pause and praise when we are able to hold on to hope even when hopeless seems our only option. And to recognize that WE DO NOT KNOW what will happen next. Even if it seems like our world is coming to an END.

More than a week of bland rice, boiled chicken and even after abandoning ALL of that and letting the girls return to their dry kibble and the occasional table scrap – what could it hurt? The old girl was saying her long goodbye yes? – Even in the absence of modern medicine, or shaman medicine wheels … this morning I saw my old girl hobble out to the back yard, squat and poop as if nothing had ever been “wrong”.

Yes. It is True. The body CAN HEAL, as can the mind. But its not always pretty in the throes of the battle. We don’t ever know when the winds will turn or where we will end up when its over. All we ever has is THIS MOMENT …. and fortunately for all of US … THIS CHANGES and the NEXT THING comes to carry us on our way to the new adventure in our journey.

Posted in Everyday Dharma, Talking Paws | Leave a comment

Now with 20% LESS!!!

Posted on April 9, 2013 by CoolKarma

When a company wants to show you they care, they have big shout outs that extoll how it saves money, is good for the planet, better taste, lower fat, no GMO’s or is gluten free. But when they want to pull the wool over your ipad they do it with smoke and mirrored servers.

In my grocery delivery yesterday I noticed that one of the shampoo bottles had a new sleek shape. At first I thought … ooo! cool!! it is easier to grip in the shower. But then I looked at the fluid ounces and saw that this “new and improved” bottle of conditioner was 20% less than what they use to bottle and sell for the same price. Indeed one of the many reasons to still consider “no poo“.

Somehow I feel slighted both literally and metaphoric, when a company makes an obvious change with Machiavellian motives. In this case its only a few cents for a few less bubbles down the drain. But sometimes it can be a serious slap in the face. Take for instance the new t-mobile adds that are everywhere you look. NO MORE CONTRACTS!! UNLIMITED DATA!! Sounds too good to be true? Well of course it is. What they don’t shout from the top of the mountain is that TMOBILE will NO LONGER OFFER YOU A PHONE!! Its like offering you an unlimited Chinese buffet but making you buy your own china plate at $500 a place setting.

And don’t get me started about their “migration fee” to switch over to the new Smart-less-Phone-Plans, or the fact that I’m trapped now in a contract with a carrier who has abandoned the services that I signed up for.

Deep breath. For me, its about impeccable words and lies of omission. From The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz:

1. Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

I use to buy that book for each new staff member that I hired during my high tech career. It gave us each a common vocabulary and a deep understanding of the values and principals that I wanted to establish in my department. Indeed when something is painful for me in my life, I realize that I am often forgetting one or more of the four rules. So for now I’ll simply notice the fleecing of our senses and do my best not to take it personally, with holding my assumptions and keeping my word in true form. After all, I know that Karma exists … and in the end … Karma Bytes.

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Windows 8

Posted on March 23, 2013 by CoolKarma

Posted in Dharma Humor | 1 Comment

80 Proof Candy

Posted on March 10, 2013 by CoolKarma

Marshmallow, Pineapple, Raspberry, Cotton Candy, Blood Orange, Caramel, Watermelon, Raspberry, Peach, Iced Cake, Pink Lemonade …

What do all of these sweet treats have in common? If you guessed Vodka, you get the moonshine medal of honor. I was shocked an appalled when I saw the “new” flavors that spirits come in today.

Smirnoff Iced Cake
Pinnacle Cotton Candy Vodka
Skyy Vodka Blood Orange Infusions
Uv Pink Lemonade Vodka
Pinnacle Cake Vodka
Smirnoff Caramel Vodka
Absolut Vodka Vanilla 80 Proof
Smirnoff Vodka Watermelon Twist 70 Proof
Smirnoff Vodka Raspberry Twist 70 Proof
Smirnoff Vodka Raspberry Twist 70 Proof
Absolut Vodka Peach 80 Proof

When I use to drink, back in the 1880′s, we had Whiskey. No fireball blend. No fancy names. It burned when you drank it down — which reminded you that you were drinking alcohol! I have to wonder how attractive these candy coated potions (poisons?) are to our kids. No more nasty burping from near beer, why not have your runner with the fake ID get you one of these easy to ingest date-rape-ready brews instead?

In Zen we are taught to question our own beliefs and to let go of the egoic mind’s rant about being right (rightous). And truth is, I get that Meditation-as-Medication can be misused the same as any drug and is often the new age seekers misguided attempt at escaping that which causes us pain. So I don’t want to sound like I condemn whatever spiritual ritual that one chooses to obtain a moment of bliss. As adults we get to make choices and I don’t want anyone taking away my choice when it comes to what I can put in (or take out of) my body. We all do whatever it is we need to do to get by.

And yet, as I read and re-read the candyman list of 21C imbibables, and I see my teen’s eyes grow wide as she thinks for a split second about how enticing they sound, I have to wonder where our Absolut responsibility lies. We are a nation of sugar-ification. Sucrose Zombies seeking our next fix. We over sweeten our coffee and amp up our soda pop because we have altered our body chemistry in such a way that we ourselves have become a genetically modified organism (GMO).

As a conscious nation, we have made choices along the way that were intended to protect ourselves from mass marketing propaganda of the corporate machine. It was Apr 1, 1970 that Nixon signed legislation to ban the ad of tobacco on TV and radio. But there is no ban on alcohol advertising despite an increase in pleas from doctors and other health organizations to do so. Largely due to the self regulating on behalf of the industry itself. But are we pushing the envelope when we offer up instant 80 proof candy?

Clearly I don’t have the answers. But I do have grown and almost grown children who are facing different challenges than I did back in the day. They have different standards and norms to assess and decide whether to uphold. I’ve shared with them the story of when I was 17 and leaving the house with a bottle of rum and a bottle of vodka and the keys to my mother’s little red gremlin, and my mother hollered out the front door after me … “What do you have in the bags?” When I showed her, she nodded her head and said “I thought you had a carton of cigarettes. Don’t smoke.” and she closed the door behind her.

Growing up in an alcoholic home, there were no role models for moderation. And maybe that’s where the sting is for me in the fly like a G6 culture campaign. We can barely define moderation let alone imbibe by it. Did you know that women who have as little as three alcoholic drinks per week have a 15% higher risk of breast cancer? That alarming number goes up 10% for each additional drink. But of course as an emeritus geek from the ivory towers of academia, I saw how our campuses changed over the last few decades. I know that my eldest rescue several students from eminent alcohol poisoning when she lived on campus.

Pauses. Looks around. Steps slowly down from my soap box.

As with anything, there are issues not answers, and OVER THINKING is as much of a pain filled vice as any other. Ahhh, what price would we each pay to dim the din of the mental noise even if only for one happy hour?

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Alien’s Landing …

Posted on February 18, 2013 by CoolKarma

When it rains it pours, or sometimes it hails. What a treat to have tiny ice pearls falling from the sky. Too small to do any damage, and such a thrill to see in the foothills of the desert. Michael and I watched for a long while as the Ice Capades danced on the driveway and melted in between the blades of green grass in the front yard. I tried to convince him that it was snow, but his Kentucky memories knew better. In the distance we could even see the hail falling from high in the sky over the hills just north of us on the horizon. The sound, the smell and the cool crisp air was the perfect storm for our thalamus to enjoy. Nature indeed can present the most amazing Technicolor HiDef surround sound feature presentions if only we heed to her teasers.

Thar’s Gold in Them Thar Hills, may well be true. But the true reward is in the breathtaking moments that nature hands to us on her silver platter. The other morning as I was pulling the miniblinds up and gazing at the sunrise that was just beginning to illuminate our mountains, I saw a dancing reflection on top of one of the houses as the light bounced off the structure. The brilliance was amazing and I stood in awe with my camera as I tried to steady my hand and capture nature’s special effects team through my double pane bedroom window.

God’s Grace. A UFO. An angelic fiddler on the roof. What wonderful stories could be written around such a spectacular visual treat if we were to try and attach meaning … to what is simply meaningful in the moment.

There are no words needed, so without further ado … adieu.

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The Daffodills’ Whisper

Posted on February 18, 2013 by CoolKarma

Surprise! Its SPRING!! Well, the daffodils that sprung up overnight in my backyard think so. Its funny how such a simple thing can put a smile on your face. At once my eyes grew wide and wonderful memories flooded my mind. Because of course our meaning making machines like to attach a story to even the most basic of Life’s expressions.

There is truly something to be mindful about the old adage “Stop and smell the roses”. Especially now in our much-a-do-about-nothing technology overloaded lives. There is a purpose and instruction when we pause and notice where we are. In fact THAT we ARE … this present moment. A simple breath, the beauty of a bloom, a boot print in the soft earth. When we stop and smile at everyTHING that is before our “I”, the mental noise of the story of “me” fades into the alcoves of our peripheral soap opera. THIS, and only THIS becomes REAL.

My boyfriend and I were having a “conversation” yesterday as we sat by the small water garden. We are both adept at he-said/she-said and every now and Zen we find ourselves able to spin a story well beyond any useful purpose. The “conversation” was as long as it was weary and then out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a very tiny tit. She was holding on to a long read that was growing out of the water. I pointed it out to my partner and we both just watched the tiny creature as she contemplated how she could safely get a small drink of water from the cascading spillways. Indeed it was enough of a shift from “reality” to REAL that when we did come back to our “conversation” we were able to find a path whereby we could walk together until we were out in a clearing.

The mind is like a labyrinth, so easy to get lost in its twisted turn-backs. We often find our self roaming aimlessly around old memories or projected futures that have no business in our planning. And while we are looking DOWN at the well worn path beneath our feet, it is hard to remember that there is an endless sky above our head. Indeed tomorrow nor yesterday hold the key to our heart, it is only NOW that we can ever experience the bliss of happiness. And THAT is the message whispered from the yellow center of the daffodil this morning.

Posted in Everyday Dharma, Satori Moments | Leave a comment

Money For Nothing

Posted on February 11, 2013 by CoolKarma

I called one of those coupon maid services in my neighborhood to see if they could come and help me get the house in order so that I can put it on the market. The “nice lady” who answered the phone rattled off a long list of things their team would do … from cleaning the blades on our ceiling fans to washing down the outsides of all our appliances. It was a comprehensive list and the coupon price was right so I scheduled a cleaning for the following week. In my “working days” I hired several maid services, sometimes for regular cleanings, occasionally for the odd one night stand. I know how these people work. Like the blow and go lawn care teams, they really don’t do any major efforting, they bust some dust and merrily maid go on their way. So I had no expectations that my house would be Home and Garden photo ready after the maid-4-u had waved their magic wands.

Of course, the egoic mind likes to run a story about hiring a team to come help out. Being disabled, means I’m home all day long .. ostensibly with nothing to do. So why can’t I keep on top of the mopping, toilets, counters and those ceiling fan blades? But my reality as it is, allows me to hang a load of laundry every now and zen. Keep the dinner dishes and pots from piling up on the kitchen counter (most of the time!) and …… well … actually that’s about all I can manage. I do wish I could do more. I still see images of June Cleaver in my head as I count my short comings. But even the Brady Bunch had a maid, I remind myself. And I try and be thankful for the days that I feel well enough to scrub the floor with a bucket and sponge — because that is decidedly easier for me than being upright.

But I’ve wandered from my rant … when the team did show up, almost 20 minutes late this morning, there was one gentleman, two ladies … and two cars. The service claims that they bring all of their own cleaning supplies … but admittedly I was surprised when they carried only a small bucket and hand held dust buster. That should have been my first red flag, if I ignored their tardiness. The young man asked that I show them around the house, which I did, breathless as I was from walking/talking and using my cane. I told them, I understood their limitations and that whatever they could DO for us, would be a help. At least three times I said, “just do what you can do”.

I showed them the master bedroom and bath … admittedly, this is where I spend 96% of my day and we do do our best to keep it presentable … but when I went off to show them the other two bedrooms the team seemed to get lost in my bathroom and I had to go back and fetch them. At which time the man said to me … “I’m sorry, we have to cancel your cleaning. There isn’t anything we can do here.”

So I asked my boyfriend to please show them out. And I let them know that I would be leaving a review on our local business sites.

“They money for nothing company, babe.” my boyfriend said after he shut the door and watched them get into their two cars and drive off. “They want to get paid for waving their hand around a bit. They don’t actually want to do any work.” And he’s right of course. Its the fast food industry of house cleaning. You can’t “get it your way”, they don’t “think outside the bun”, and while you look around asking yourself “where’s the beef” they “run for the border”.

Its like washing your dishes before you put them in the dishwasher. You can’t be Maid in America, unless you first hire mr. clean, the tidy bowl man, Popin Fresh and Aunt Jemima. At times I become dismayed by what we let pass in our high-tech lives. How we cut corners to cut costs. We don’t even want to know which foods we eat are genetically modified. We still don’t care about the carcinogens used as preservatives. And the power of the glossy advertisement makes us think our air ducts can be cleaned and our lives carefree.

Its hard to teach the value of a dollar to my children or the pride in having done a good days work, when I am no longer able to work, bring home a paycheck and carry them on my health insurance. Broke has a myriad of meanings and I’m sure the metaphoric maid simple miasma this morning was just another thread in the fabric of our distressed genes. I realize of course, had there been a laugh track accompanying this weeks episode of Redneck Reality, that it all would be more palatable. And that fact that my dysFUNctional family WILL provide THAT over the next several days in a variety of stand up schticks and callbacks about this murphy’s law moment in our lives is the silver lining in the dust mop.

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Only Dog Knows …

Posted on January 7, 2013 by CoolKarma

When we know something, we at once limit our options and lock in to a course of actions based on a belief that we clearly know what’s best. From the small matters of the daily mundane to the larger life issues of love and happiness, we perceive a situation, compare it against our subjective database of factoids, convince our self that it matches one of our assumptions and then proceed to take actions in accordance with our limited beliefs.

Too vague? Well, let me put an annotated not-so-shaggy-dog-story in place that may help settle the cloudy water in the glass that is half full, or empty as the case may be. This last holiday, my old hairless girl Taco had a tumor on her hind leg that opened. Five years ago, my sweet Bella had a tumor(s) that was also aggressive and malignant. So I have quite a bit of “evidence” in my databanks about dogs and tumors. Because of course, I did a lot of research with Bella, I have been a dog owner for all of my adult life, my friends all have dogs … you get the idea. I “knew” what was going to happen. And Taco is 15 years old, clearly on the last chapter of her life as a Mexican hairless dog.

Knowing what I know about insidious illnesses, I called the home vet to make arrangements to put her down. It was her time after all. She slept for much of the day, clearly in more pain than we would want to admit and I knew that this tumor would eventually be the end of her, and it was my job as a responsible pet owner to minimize her suffering.

As fate would have it, the home vet that I trust and am so blessed to have as our family dog doctor, was on vacation. We spoke on the phone and made plans for a visit the following week. I knew what would happen during that time. I had bandaged Bella’s tumors for months. I knew how to care for them and keep Taco as comfortable as possible.

Quite unexpectedly, and without the gory details … the tumor and probably abscess underneath it actually shrank during that week before the appointment and the day that the vet came to our door, Ms Taco was quite the perky puppy albeit senior dog of well more than a dozen years. I had prepared myself and my family, for a week that we would be saying goodbye to our furless friend and we all were grieving for her loss in our own way. So when the vet recommended surgery for the old girl, I said no.

You see, my decision to put Taco down, was because I “knew” from Bella’s experience what to expect. I had tried the expensive tests, surgeries and medicines with Bella. Only to see each fail, her suffering prolonged and my bank account diminished. I wasn’t in a financial position to do that again, so I told the vet, NO. I would not put any of us through that this time. No tests. No surgery. No more suffering.

He understood my concerns. And he even agreed that it was likely she had a type of malignancy much like Bella did. But then he made a proposal to simply remove this one tumor at a price that was so low it was simply unprecedented. Indeed, the bill for the procedure did not match my database of “knowing”. Standing their puzzled, I looked at my boy friend who said without hesitation “Martha would want her to have the surgery, we’ll do it.” Because of course, his database of dogs and dying is different than mine and for him that decision was simply common sense.

We did the surgery. But wihtout any expectation. Unlike the failed and heroic efforts we made with Bella. We agreed to this surgery because we trusted that it was the right thing to do in the moment. Taco was able to celebrate the holiday season (and ham!) and ring in the new year (with roast beef!), a smile on her dog snout, a bounce in her step and the love of family around her. We have no expectations of course, that the tumors will not return. She’s an old dog. She’s had a good life, and one day inevitably soon it will be time to say goodbye to her. But that won’t be based on any database of how things will happen.

Life and death and everything in between unfolds at a pace and with a precision that Only Dog Knows. Coming from a dyslexic blogger, I’m sure you can understand. And of course its not really about Taco, because our mind would like us to believe that was just a “freak” miracle on 42nd street. But our minds do this “knowing” thing all the time. A man is kind to us, and we think he must want something. We shy away from showing our feelings, because the last time our heart was torn open, we make assumptions based on appearances instead of withholding our judgement and letting the wide and vast ocean of possibility appear before our eyes (I). And why do we do this? Because we trust our memory as much as we value Google to settle an argument. Fortunately, sometimes when we step back and accept that we may not be the holder of truth … that Truth not only finds us, but smiles upon us in all of our imperfection. Taco taught me that.

Posted in Everyday Dharma, What The "I" Can't See | Leave a comment

~Soft Smile~

Posted on January 7, 2013 by CoolKarma

Egoic Mind: At times there is a sweeping dissatisfaction with my life. At times there are feelings of great joy, without awareness of said unease. On a few seldom occasions there is stillness. What is real?

Gnani: All and everything.

Egoic Mind: And yet nothing, I suppose. That’s trite. Bubblegum guru bullshit.

Gnani: The mind would want you to believe that, for it wants to remain in control of the chaos.

Egoic Mind: I see that the mind creates turbulence, even in still waters. I DO apperceive that.

Gnani: It wants to be the Queen of the Chaos. Wanting you to believe in its omnipotence and wanting you to serve its every whim.

Egoic Mind: And yet it has an insatiable appetite and can never be appeased. I do see that as well. I have noticed the inner dialog at times that is always surveying the landscape of the mind … it asks “what can I do for myself in this moment?” Not in an overly selfish way … but to ease the physical pain, or otherwise still the din of the mental noise. It is always looking around, searching and seeking ways to BE COMFORTABLE. I see it all around me as well, the urge and desire to be “free” of human pain. We seek sangha and therapy sessions to try and unravel the “mystery” of our mind. “Why did my mother leave?”, “Why am I still holding on to this anger?”, “How could I have done that stupid thing?” At the core seems to be a belief that if we FIGURE IT OUT, that our suffering will end.

Gnani: And yet, you have seen that for the vast majority of those people, your “self” included that the suffering does not end. Why is that?

Egoic Mind: Because the mind is the one doing the seeking and it has no desire or intention of truly alleviating its own pain. Shocking as that may sound. At best the mind is a tabloid news reporter. It thrives on drama and mayhem. It seeks it out, sensationalizes what it finds and plays the newsreel over and over in our head.

Gnani: Go on.

Egoic Mind: No. I find that utterly too depressing a thought. It makes me feel “trapped” inside a Machiavellian mental machine. I don’t want to believe that. I don’t want to feel helpless.

Gnani: Keep going. The mind wants you to stop here before you SEE. It wants you to SETTLE for the half truth.

Egoic Mind: What is the full truth that I am missing?

Gnani: Keep going.

Egoic Mind: Okay, the mind as a tabloid news reporter. I see that. I see the news conferences it holds, I see it trying to rope other people in for higher ratings and I see that these tactics do not lead to any reduction in suffering for any length of time. That is to say, there may be a brief respite when one fire is doused, and perhaps even the crowd cheers for a moment at the “victory” – but it can only be a transient feeling of relief, because the next “natural” disaster is looming on the horizon. And even though the questions may appear to change, “Why don’t I feel loved?”, “How could she hurt me like that?”, “Why do I put up with this abuse?” … it is really only mutterings of dissatisfaction that the mind is creating in order to reign supreme in the land of chaos.

Gnani: Yes. That is the partial truth. There is more though that the “I” can not see.

Egoic Mind: I’m lost in the egoic mind at the moment. I am sure I can recite bubble gum guru-isms back at you, but I can not FEEL it right now.

Gnani: Simply NOTICE the stillness right now. Without effort or urgency. Simply SEE what is here, right now.

{pause}

Egoic Mind: When there are NO WORDS left, or no stories to follow … there a feeling of a soft smile all around me. I know that sounds strange, but it is the best reach for words to match something that is not quite possible to describe. A soft smile.

Gnani: Indeed words do not matter. Words and logic and reason are all tools of the false sense of self. You need not try and convince “it” of anything.

Egoic Mind: So what IS the truth? And what do I DO about it? How do I quit my job as a tabloid news reporter and stop being so self obsessed with “being comfortable”?

Gnani: There is an apperceivable shift from the striving of “being comfortable” to the Truth of BEING.

Egoic Mind: I can hear the argument in my head … some version of never amounting to anything if we all sat around in our “beingness”. Because the mind wants to be in control of the chaos and if it put down the video camera with the live feed for the 6 o’clock news, it believes that the world would end.

Gnani: And it will.

Egoic Mind: Well damn if its gonna happen now! No one wants their world to END!

Gnani: Which is why, so many suffer for so long. And even those who claim to be seeking an end to the suffering are really only placating the network executives at Chaos Central Station.

Egoic Mind: Okay, so I know this “soft smile” to be the Truth. Call it the “witness that watches” or the Beingness, or the Presence, by whatever name or Author Unknown, I know without a doubt that it exists. Because that is my experience, despite my mind’s attempt to discredit or ignore that fact. I know Truth exists. Now … what do I DO about it?

Gnani: Doing is still an action undertaken by the minions of the mind that live for the next battle. There is no war to win.

Egoic Mind: Then I will be doomed to suffer for as long as I have an active mind.

Gnani: Take again the example of the tabloid news reporter. Right now there are live news streams going on that are reporting crisis around the world. Are there not?

Egoic Mind: There always is. So yes, I imagine that there are now, on one of the 720 channels on the satellite network. But I don’t have the TV on. Oh! I get it. I make a choice, not to watch it. There ARE 720 metaphoric channels at any given time and I can choose which one I tune in.

Gnani: (soft smile)

Egoic Mind: I am not only the broadcast network for the queen of chaos, I am also a universal RECEIVER. I can pick up all of the channels on this mental DVR, but I don’t ever have to sit down and WATCH any of them. I can change my focus.

Gnani: But there are real world problems, people are starving, injustices abound …

Egoic Mind: Yes, I hear that mental “defense” … I can not simply “ignore” the pain and suffering. But watching it passively on the news, does nothing for the betterment of any sentient being. Actions when possible, will come. And they will come from the stillness … the smile of compassion. When I can truly help, I will. When it is possible to reduce even my own suffering, it will be done. But in the copious free time of the hallows of the mind … I need not turn on the fox hunt of the tabloid press. I do not have to spend my energy in researching the crisis of the mind.

Gnani: Is that so?

Egoic Mind: Well SHIT, don’t confuse me. I thought that I HAD IT.

Gnani: Well then, keep THINKING … or … consider … right now …

Egoic Mind: Feeling the soft smile. Yes.

Gnani: Yes.

Egoic Mind: But you know .. there isn’t anything more to write about when I am in that place of “peace”. There aren’t any words left.